DISCLAIMER:
I have a tendency to write in stream of consciousness. I am really trying hard not to do that in this blog... if I do I apologize.
ALSO...I know that people who are really good writers get really annoyed when people misspell words, put commas in the wrong place, etc. Well, because I got people to edit my papers in high school and college, I never really learned correct grammar/ punctuation, and, frankly, didn't care :/ I regret that as I write this blog. Unfortunately no one is around to edit it. Sorry guys.
Emily Stone
Saturday, February 6, 2010
An encounter with jesus...and a pinch of snow..
Yesterday (February 5) was a busy/ hectic day.
primarily for this reason:
SNOW. Yes, it snowed. These pictures were only the beginning... it got worse..and worse..and worse. I had mixed feelings about it. I think I stared out the window in unbelief for at lest 30 minutes thinking, "how am I gonna drive in this?" "Am I going to have a wreck?" "Oh no! what if I get stuck or spin out of control off the road?"
I guess my roommate (from Pennsylvania) could tell I was a little nervous, so she informed me that we were lucky because it was a "warm" snow. Well, later, in the parking lot after my Commission session it did not feel "warm" when I had to push mounds and mounds of snow off my window with my bare hand while everyone else pulled out their little handy dandy snow brush and brushed it off with one little swipe. Ohhh, what a day. I do have to say, however, snow is nice to look at:)
On a different note:
I decided yesterday I am going to study Revelation.
On a more WONDERFUL/AMAZING note:
I was at the awakening service for 6 hours last night (felt like 2). God really encountered me. He was washing me in His love in a very tangible way.
He REALLY wants His bride to know that He loves her...it's the only way we will become a bride.
As the Lord was encountering me and people were praying for me, my mind was so offended that he would love me. He really shouldn't love me...but He does. Instead of fighting it and arguing with Him about why He shouldn't love me, I decided I would let go and allow Him to love me. He wouldn't let me go for about 3 hours..He just kept moving and moving on my heart, healing wounds, restoring my soul, and making me His all over again. I felt Him do a deep surgery on my heart concerning a wound that had been hurting for almost 2.5 years (very intense moment with the Lord). The Lord spoke truth to my heart and I felt a break through in my spirit.
After the pain of those 2.5 years began to subside, I saw Jesus embracing me really tight. My heart kept saying, "get me to my bridegroom!" "I want my bridegroom!" "Get me to Him!" Oh, in that moment, I wanted Him so bad. I'm not really sure why those phrases were coming to my mind while Jesus was embracing me, but they were coming from a place deep within my belly and I couldn't hold it in...I almost roared it. I wanted to roar it..it felt like a roar. The Lord gently let go of me and then I saw Him hand me this long dazzling sword. I looked at the sword and I asked Him what He wanted me to do with it. I heard Him say, "never let it go."
(A sword in scripture refers to the word.. Jesus is the living Word of God.)
Soon after, some women gathered around me and prayed for me. As they were praying, I had a weird manifestation of what felt like the tip of a sword piercing my heart. It was so real that it almost hurt. I felt like it had to do with His love penetrating my heart and I could physically feel it. Jesus really met me last night and I love Him even more for it.
Emily Stone
p.s. i am going to start believing Jesus loves me/ is ravished/ undone/ overwhelmed with me (EVEN ON MY WORST DAY) whether I like it or not...and you should too.
primarily for this reason:
SNOW. Yes, it snowed. These pictures were only the beginning... it got worse..and worse..and worse. I had mixed feelings about it. I think I stared out the window in unbelief for at lest 30 minutes thinking, "how am I gonna drive in this?" "Am I going to have a wreck?" "Oh no! what if I get stuck or spin out of control off the road?"
I guess my roommate (from Pennsylvania) could tell I was a little nervous, so she informed me that we were lucky because it was a "warm" snow. Well, later, in the parking lot after my Commission session it did not feel "warm" when I had to push mounds and mounds of snow off my window with my bare hand while everyone else pulled out their little handy dandy snow brush and brushed it off with one little swipe. Ohhh, what a day. I do have to say, however, snow is nice to look at:)
On a different note:
I decided yesterday I am going to study Revelation.
On a more WONDERFUL/AMAZING note:
I was at the awakening service for 6 hours last night (felt like 2). God really encountered me. He was washing me in His love in a very tangible way.
He REALLY wants His bride to know that He loves her...it's the only way we will become a bride.
As the Lord was encountering me and people were praying for me, my mind was so offended that he would love me. He really shouldn't love me...but He does. Instead of fighting it and arguing with Him about why He shouldn't love me, I decided I would let go and allow Him to love me. He wouldn't let me go for about 3 hours..He just kept moving and moving on my heart, healing wounds, restoring my soul, and making me His all over again. I felt Him do a deep surgery on my heart concerning a wound that had been hurting for almost 2.5 years (very intense moment with the Lord). The Lord spoke truth to my heart and I felt a break through in my spirit.
After the pain of those 2.5 years began to subside, I saw Jesus embracing me really tight. My heart kept saying, "get me to my bridegroom!" "I want my bridegroom!" "Get me to Him!" Oh, in that moment, I wanted Him so bad. I'm not really sure why those phrases were coming to my mind while Jesus was embracing me, but they were coming from a place deep within my belly and I couldn't hold it in...I almost roared it. I wanted to roar it..it felt like a roar. The Lord gently let go of me and then I saw Him hand me this long dazzling sword. I looked at the sword and I asked Him what He wanted me to do with it. I heard Him say, "never let it go."
(A sword in scripture refers to the word.. Jesus is the living Word of God.)
Soon after, some women gathered around me and prayed for me. As they were praying, I had a weird manifestation of what felt like the tip of a sword piercing my heart. It was so real that it almost hurt. I felt like it had to do with His love penetrating my heart and I could physically feel it. Jesus really met me last night and I love Him even more for it.
Emily Stone
p.s. i am going to start believing Jesus loves me/ is ravished/ undone/ overwhelmed with me (EVEN ON MY WORST DAY) whether I like it or not...and you should too.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
soup and hummus
I have a new friend! Sandi is her name. she is from New York. we had lunch together today...soup and hummus:) Claritin D also accompanied my meal :(.
LOVE: the strange emotion of God.
Here we go....
"Just as a man pursues a woman or initiates a relationship so God initiates a relationship with us and enters into our world. God is not emotionally sterile in this pursuit. His righteousness does not negate his emotions for us. Quite the opposite in fact. His righteousness means that his emotions are all the more true and correct about us."
God's emotions are not fallen. They are perfect.
It satisfies His righteousness to set His emotions on us.
WHHHAAATTT??
I have this tendency to beat myself up. It's actually a horribly painful weakness. In recent years I have really set my heart to make Jesus the dream of my life. I want to love His righteousness. I want to love His meekness. I want to love His humility. I want to love his beauty. I want to love His gentleness. etc. etc. etc. I really really do. In loving Him and in loving the beauty of His characteristics, I desssspppppperatttellly...I MEAN DESPERATELY want to become like Him. I want to WANT to become more like Him even more than I already do. I really want to be yoked to Him and marry Him one day. I can't wait to marry Jesus.
I can be really hard on myself when I am not walking in LOVE. I put myself on probation, beat myself up until I learn my lesson, make sure I tell myself how horrible I am for not getting it, and try extra hard to make sure I get it right next time. Kinda transparent, but I am SURE there are others who do the same.
**side note...do you ever feel like when God changes/ shifts/ sanctifies/ corrects us you have to do a lot of trial and error before you really learn how to posture yourself rightly? People are so extreme it's like if God corrects one extreme we automatically default to the other extreme. When that doesn't work we finally surrender (hopefully). Does that make sense?
All that to say...I was refreshed by the Lord today. He is so kind to me. Relentlessly kind to me.
He hit me with this truth. And we all know that it is true. It has always been true in my head, but today it really hit my heart in a new way...so i thought i'd share:
Love is not of man. love is not of this world. True love is ONLY born of God.
I'm not gonna lie, something about that offends me. I have casually told people that I loved them my whole entire life...these people that I "loved" made me feel real good...i liked hanging out with them..they never made me deal with my issues..they never made me mad. i "loved" them. On the contrary, if someone hurt me/ made me mad/ got in my way they were automatically on my "stay away i dont love them" list. Unfortunately, this has always been my default, because somewhere in my wicked heart I have thought this was just, good, and right.
ENTER JESUS. so this light came to this dark DARK earth that did not understand light at all. the darkness hated/ did not understand the light. (JOHN 2:5) He came and introduced these magnificant treasures from heaven to man including humility, servanthood, long suffering, righteousness, mercy, grace, etc. and LOVE. One man walked the earth and in his DNA He carried the treasures of heaven and the fullness of God. These treasures are foreign mysteries to the world of man. We know nothing of them apart from Jesus. We know nothing of love apart from Jesus.
For me this is really refreshing. If i make the mistake of staring at my own weaknesses too long I get tired, discouraged, I want to die, give up, and call the whole thing off..my heart gets so offended. This is why my heart LEAPS for the son of God who takes away the sins of the world. When i stare at Jesus my heart soars and I come alive. I love Him for this. I love Him so so so much for this.
so there is my revelation for the day.
Emily
"Just as a man pursues a woman or initiates a relationship so God initiates a relationship with us and enters into our world. God is not emotionally sterile in this pursuit. His righteousness does not negate his emotions for us. Quite the opposite in fact. His righteousness means that his emotions are all the more true and correct about us."
God's emotions are not fallen. They are perfect.
It satisfies His righteousness to set His emotions on us.
WHHHAAATTT??
I have this tendency to beat myself up. It's actually a horribly painful weakness. In recent years I have really set my heart to make Jesus the dream of my life. I want to love His righteousness. I want to love His meekness. I want to love His humility. I want to love his beauty. I want to love His gentleness. etc. etc. etc. I really really do. In loving Him and in loving the beauty of His characteristics, I desssspppppperatttellly...I MEAN DESPERATELY want to become like Him. I want to WANT to become more like Him even more than I already do. I really want to be yoked to Him and marry Him one day. I can't wait to marry Jesus.
I can be really hard on myself when I am not walking in LOVE. I put myself on probation, beat myself up until I learn my lesson, make sure I tell myself how horrible I am for not getting it, and try extra hard to make sure I get it right next time. Kinda transparent, but I am SURE there are others who do the same.
**side note...do you ever feel like when God changes/ shifts/ sanctifies/ corrects us you have to do a lot of trial and error before you really learn how to posture yourself rightly? People are so extreme it's like if God corrects one extreme we automatically default to the other extreme. When that doesn't work we finally surrender (hopefully). Does that make sense?
All that to say...I was refreshed by the Lord today. He is so kind to me. Relentlessly kind to me.
He hit me with this truth. And we all know that it is true. It has always been true in my head, but today it really hit my heart in a new way...so i thought i'd share:
Love is not of man. love is not of this world. True love is ONLY born of God.
I'm not gonna lie, something about that offends me. I have casually told people that I loved them my whole entire life...these people that I "loved" made me feel real good...i liked hanging out with them..they never made me deal with my issues..they never made me mad. i "loved" them. On the contrary, if someone hurt me/ made me mad/ got in my way they were automatically on my "stay away i dont love them" list. Unfortunately, this has always been my default, because somewhere in my wicked heart I have thought this was just, good, and right.
ENTER JESUS. so this light came to this dark DARK earth that did not understand light at all. the darkness hated/ did not understand the light. (JOHN 2:5) He came and introduced these magnificant treasures from heaven to man including humility, servanthood, long suffering, righteousness, mercy, grace, etc. and LOVE. One man walked the earth and in his DNA He carried the treasures of heaven and the fullness of God. These treasures are foreign mysteries to the world of man. We know nothing of them apart from Jesus. We know nothing of love apart from Jesus.
For me this is really refreshing. If i make the mistake of staring at my own weaknesses too long I get tired, discouraged, I want to die, give up, and call the whole thing off..my heart gets so offended. This is why my heart LEAPS for the son of God who takes away the sins of the world. When i stare at Jesus my heart soars and I come alive. I love Him for this. I love Him so so so much for this.
so there is my revelation for the day.
Emily
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
SHIFTING GEARS: Here is my living situation..please enjoy:)
so here is the lovely little house that i am living in. it has survived a lot of years...but it keeps me warm:)
This is my backyard overlooking Shiloh.....and briars/thickets.
Luckily it is a fully furnished house so I didn't have to move any furniture. This is my bed..i bought that lamp at target for like 7 bucks though. :)!!
a little taste of home (thanks to Jenna Day) who put together a collage of pictures for me to display in my room. It makes me miss home...and John :(
I was doing pretty good on furniture, but the room didnt have a mirror. Since there is one bathroom in a house full of four girls I have to get ready in my room. I bought this mirror at a thrift store for 5 bucks! The room had a little desk in it so I turned it into a vanity.
Meet Pimpernell (sp?) He is the cat that has apparently destroyed 5 mice to date. 
The first couple of days he wasnt sure about me, but as of today he has finally warmed up to me. So much so, that he followed me all around the house today. When I walked into my room he followed behind and stayed right by my feet until he jumped up on my desk. After I snapped this shot I forced him to come down...he then jumped on my bed (see picture above). I got him off, and he decided to bite my computer chord, hide in my closet, and jump on my dresser. Consequently, Pimpernell is not allowed back in my room (at least not unattended). HI!
HEEELLLO:)
So I am officially starting my first blog. Ever. This is for several reasons:
1. I am in Kansas City, Mo and have a lot more time on my hands than I had anticipated.
2. I want to take a picture(s) everyday while I am here and I thought a blog would be a good place to post them. Hopefully pictures will help rev my memories of things I learn here.
3. This will help friends/ family back home feel like they are a part of my life.:)
4. Jenna (Day) and I were reading blogs one day and laughed really hard at internet personalities. (So, Jenna, if I use words like "this darling little thing" or "to die for" I am in blog-world so I am exempt from embarrassment. ) <- so that's not really a good reason, but I though I would include it.
so here goes...
MY. LIFE. SO. FAR.
I am currently in Kansas City for the next three months doing a program called Commission. Basically it is a three month intensive on what the Lord has imparted to IHOP (International House of Prayer). I will be learning how to live the life of a forerunner, which includes living a life of prayer, fasting, and preparing the way for Jesus to return to the EARTH!!!!AHH!! :) :)... weird that He is really coming. The program also includes cultivating intimacy with Jesus and getting the Bridal paradigm deeeeeeeep within your heart...God as our husband, running to Him in our weakness instead of away (there is sooooo much more to this mystery I could go on and on).
Today (February 3, 2010) was my first day. We were oriented and then Dale Anderson (the director) spoke on the Bridal paradigm. I have heard the Bridal paradigm many times over, but because the Lord has so tenderized my heart to this revelation I couldn't stop weeping today.
JESUS IS REALLY GOING TO MARRY US.
He really is. I am in so much awe of His humility. His humility is so beautiful. He chose to pursue us, to win us, to yoke us to Him, and to marry us. Oh, and He will marry us. I love Him for this.
"we love him because he first loved us."
I want the Lord to prepare me, to change me, to shift me and to mature me in love while I am here so that I will be made ready for Him when He returns.
~Emily
So I am officially starting my first blog. Ever. This is for several reasons:
1. I am in Kansas City, Mo and have a lot more time on my hands than I had anticipated.
2. I want to take a picture(s) everyday while I am here and I thought a blog would be a good place to post them. Hopefully pictures will help rev my memories of things I learn here.
3. This will help friends/ family back home feel like they are a part of my life.:)
4. Jenna (Day) and I were reading blogs one day and laughed really hard at internet personalities. (So, Jenna, if I use words like "this darling little thing" or "to die for" I am in blog-world so I am exempt from embarrassment. ) <- so that's not really a good reason, but I though I would include it.
so here goes...
MY. LIFE. SO. FAR.
I am currently in Kansas City for the next three months doing a program called Commission. Basically it is a three month intensive on what the Lord has imparted to IHOP (International House of Prayer). I will be learning how to live the life of a forerunner, which includes living a life of prayer, fasting, and preparing the way for Jesus to return to the EARTH!!!!AHH!! :) :)... weird that He is really coming. The program also includes cultivating intimacy with Jesus and getting the Bridal paradigm deeeeeeeep within your heart...God as our husband, running to Him in our weakness instead of away (there is sooooo much more to this mystery I could go on and on).
Today (February 3, 2010) was my first day. We were oriented and then Dale Anderson (the director) spoke on the Bridal paradigm. I have heard the Bridal paradigm many times over, but because the Lord has so tenderized my heart to this revelation I couldn't stop weeping today.
JESUS IS REALLY GOING TO MARRY US.
He really is. I am in so much awe of His humility. His humility is so beautiful. He chose to pursue us, to win us, to yoke us to Him, and to marry us. Oh, and He will marry us. I love Him for this.
"we love him because he first loved us."
I want the Lord to prepare me, to change me, to shift me and to mature me in love while I am here so that I will be made ready for Him when He returns.
~Emily
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
